Grief is a natural part of life
And, an invitation to abide in Christ

Deep Connection with God

Dear friends of Presence + Practice, this season invites us to bring our grief into God's presence.

We believe grief is not simply a burden—but a spiritual companion shaping our formation.

My story of my dad's passing

On May 5, 2025 my father passed away after his cancer diagnosis. The grief started with the diagnosis 18 months earlier.

He began to lose energy, less mobile and near the end he wouldn't respond to my texts nor phone calls. The last time I really spoke with my dad was about 2 months before he passed away. I had visited 4 times from the time of his diagnosis until his passing. He lived in Chicagoland with my step-mom Lynn.

One of the things I miss the most is being able to call him and talk about ideas. We could talk about church stuff, theology, etc. He loved ideas and questioning systems.

Question Everything (with gentleness) is something that my dad often said. Later in life he added "with gentleness." This is one of his core values that he has passed on to me and his grandkids (Zachariah & Zoe).

Ways I've grieved

• Cried and said goodbye, especially the week he died
• Shared with Sungshim and my kids memories of Dad and the values he passed on to me
• Intentionally check in with myself to see how I am doing with my dad no longer being here on earth. I share because I can easily just take care of daily tasks
• Read books that are short related to grief so that I continue my work
• I felt lethargic and don't want to do anything some days. Intellectually I knew this was ok, but also felt bad I wasn't as productive.
• Connect with friends who also lost their dad the same week.
• Create a playlist with songs that remind me of my dad. Especially songs that I heard growing up with him.
  • ​Niel Diamond - Sweet Caroline is one song that reminds me of my dad.
• Read passages of scripture that brought comfort and inspiration
  • Psalm 23
  • Psalm 34:18
  • 2 Cor 1:3-4
• Sharing with Sungshim how I am doing in relationship to losing my dad. She has been amazing! Listening to my heart. Giving me space, especially when I am lethargic and slower. Hearing how she misses dad and what she misses about him has also been very meaningful to me.

Things I'm learning

• Grief is one of the most common human experiences
• We all experience it personally
• There is no right way to grieve
• It is natural to avoid the pain of grief
• Healing happens when we turn towards the pain of grief in the presence of love (God and people)
• Grief will activate other griefs that are still yearning to be healed and welcomed into compassionate presence
• It takes time
• Time alone is not enough, time + gentle presence is helpful
• You are not alone in this

I wrote this and shared it on Facebook to honor my dad. We will celebrate his life and honor him later this month.

Dean Loppnow

Feb 3, 1943 - May 5, 2025

This week, my dad entered hospice. I flew back to Chicago to be by his side. On Sunday, my sister, brother, and I visited him—he was so weak, only briefly opening his eyes, but I did hear him say those precious words: "I love you."

Today, I woke up to the news that he had passed. My stepmom, Lynn, my sister, and brother-in-law, Jason, joined me as we went to the hospital for one final goodbye. As a veteran, my dad was honored with an American flag draped over his body. As he was wheeled down the hall, taps played, and the nurses and doctors stood with their hands on their hearts. It was a bittersweet moment of closure.

Thank you all for your messages and support. They’ve meant a lot to me. I felt supported and cared for. We all need each other. On Sunday, I told my Dad, that as he enters the spirit realm, I will be looking for him. I'm grateful his last words to me were "I love you."

And I'm grateful for many things about my Dad as I'll likely share over the next few months. I'm thankful He introduced me to God at church. During this season of illness, he would sign his emails, "Walk with this King!" I know you are enjoying this walk. May we all be inspired to live with love, grace, goodness, and beauty. Dad, I love you. I'm looking for you.

Navy 1963-1967

“The most important thing in your life is not what you do; it’s who you become. That’s what you will take into eternity.”

(Dallas Willard)

​Here is the podcast where I walk you through this breath prayer.​

Future Emails - A.I. + Spiritual Formation

I'll be sharing the ways that I've been using A.I.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on A.I. and how it has been helpful. I am fully aware of the concerns with A.I. We do need wisdom and discernment.

Please email me with questions you'd like to see discussed related to A.I.

You are so very loved!